Paperweight
by anyway the wind blows
Summary: All she knew was that this girl she saw in the mirror was different; her face was different, her irises had darkened. Anyone who looked at her would simply think her eyes were that dark because of the blobs of mascara and eyeliner smeared around her eyes.


**A/N**: In no way do I own The Secret Life of the American Teenager. This can be looked at as AU, and it's just an idea that came to me and I was inspired to write it. This will be a Ricky and Adrian story, although it will take a little while to get into that. Please review – I want to hear any criticism or comments that you have on this story, just please don't leave hateful reviews simply because you don't like the pairing.

_**Paperweight**_

The orange sun splashed indolently into the bedroom window, illuminating the silky pink fabric of the dress that swept shamefully across the bed. It appeared so out of place in the dark room, yet somehow appearing to add more color and serenity. To the reluctant Latina that stood over it, however, facing the nearly blinding sunlight, it was simply something she could never imagine herself in and therefore dreaded.

Her only solace was knowing that in the room behind her own lay another silky dress, only much smaller and prettier since it was in blue, and nonetheless it was her only reason for agreeing to this.

She wandered lethargically over to the window and glanced up at the Dawn sky before tugging the curtains closed, shutting out the sun of the new day. She gathered up the bundle of material into her arms, turning towards her rectangular full-body length mirror and staring at the girl in her reflection dressed in only a bra and tight-fitting jeans with such an extrinsic, perfect dress that must have been designed for a princess and for a princess only.

She had to bring herself to remember the real reason she was doing this, and the only explainable reason as to why she was doing anything she did now. Some of it didn't make sense to anyone – because it was just not _her_. But the past two years had been like somewhat of a wake-up call for her, maturing her into the almost twenty-one year old that she now was.

_Audrey Lee _was born three years ago on May twenty-first after Adrian was rushed to the hospital when her water broke; she'd been feeling strange all morning and afternoon, but she ignored the signs, and it came as unexpected.

She remembered the pain and how scared she was, and her parents and Ben, the father of the baby, stayed at her side, all the way telling her that everything would be alright.

Her mind wandered back quite often now, and she couldn't recall how many flashbacks she'd had this year. All she knew was that this girl she saw in the mirror was different; her _face_ was different, her irises had darkened. Anyone who looked at her would simply think her eyes were that dark because of the blobs of mascara and eyeliner smeared around the circles of her eyes.

But little did they know; they were _very _wrong.

* * *

The light of the lighthouse flickered off almost as quickly as it had come on, leaving her surrounded by total darkness. She climbed the steep bump in the ground above the dark, beckoning lake, the wind tossing her hair in every direction. Fortunate for her she had become accustomed to coming here so much that she could probably find her way around if she were blindfolded.

Her breathing quickening and her heartbeat in her head, the door creaked open as she pushed, the wind slamming it closed and the thunderstorm outside becoming background noises. She could hear one sound in particular, but she couldn't tell where it was coming from.

"_Adrian_."

She tried to follow the voice, going down the murky, narrow hallway and waiting for the voice to speak again. "_Adrian, where are you_?"

She reached the end of the hall where she knew she was now standing at the entrance of the living room, the voice growing louder. Immediately she went to the small cabinet behind the sofa and dug through it in search of either a lighter or match; her hands brushed against a candle. Giving a small sigh, she grabbed the candle and stumbled across the room to the kitchen where she knew there would be matches.

Right upon entering the kitchen she felt cold hands touch her lower back, her head ramming into his chest. "_Ricky_," she sneered, "what are you doing here?"

"I thought I would find you here."

He released his grip on her, and she moved her hands from his chest. "And _why_ are you here?"

"We need to talk." The dreaded words.

"What is there to talk about, Ricky?"

He grabbed both of her arms, and she struggled to get away until he tightened the hold he had on her. "Just tell me what's going on. Where are you moving? Why? Why hasn't Ben said anything about it—"

"If I go to New York, I can do whatever I want. I can go to college – I want to start over. My mom's moving for her job, and I don't know—I just thought _I can go with her. _I'm eighteen, so I won't be living with her, but-"

She watched as he struggled over his words, shaking his head as he processed what she had said: "Just _please_-"

"I didn't think you'd care."

He cocked his eyebrows and said mockingly, "_Didn't think I'd care?_ Look, we're friends...We were trying to be. We're not together anymore. But I _care_. It matters to me if I never get to see you again."

"We used each other," she tried to explain. "I have a _baby_, Ricky. Moving is the only way my baby will have a chance at a regular childhood."

He shook his head as if what she was saying what ridiculous and finally forced the words out in a small voice, "There are good colleges here. What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing."

"_Adrian._"

"_Nothing_!" she snapped. "You just go be with Amy. That's the way it's always been anyway."

"Look I am with Amy, kind of – we've been tryin' to make it work." Adrian just squinted her eyes at the obvious, opening her mouth to speak but closing it just as quickly because Ricky gave her no chance to respond. "You know what, maybe I wanna be with you, even if you have Ben's baby. I didn't think I would, but maybe I do."

"You're not thinking straight."

"Neither are you!"

"_Ricky-"_

And she was silenced by Ricky firmly pressing their lips together, linking his arms around her waist as if he was trying to hold on to her. She'd never felt him so desperate, so yearning before as she did now, and that was hard to believe because their relationship used to be based upon comfort from anger which they gladly took out on each other.

Adrian trailed her hand up his chest and around his neck, Ricky tugging at her clothes already and throwing his leather jacket off his shoulders. There was no point in restraint anymore, no point in withdrawal, because in a matter of weeks he and Adrian both knew that all of this would be over forever.

* * *

"Mommy?"

Adrian slowly came back into the present, staring down at the dress in her hands before returning her eyes to the small girl in the doorway. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, baby," Adrian replied. "Are you ready?"

"I think so."

"Give me a second, okay?"

She nodded and marched out of the room. Adrian changed into the dress and stared at herself in the mirror. She looked so different.

Everything was so, so irrevocably different.

* * *

**A/N**: I bet you all thought that this was going to be a fluffy/happy story by the way it started off. Although there will be a small amount of that, this is going to be somewhat of an eery, angsty story. And the next chapter will explain where they're going and what they're doing as to why they'd be wearing dresses. Anyway, please review!


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